Moment
by secrettrip13
Summary: Okay well thought it would be a one shot but some people actually like it. So we will see where it goes. It is at least preslash, guess it depends on how long it goes. Let me know what you think and suggestions of other chapters or other stories welcomed.
1. Chapter 1

There's a moment in everyone's life where time stands still, where it seems that life as we know it, is no more. This moment could be good it could be bad it could also be both. I have had many moments were time slows but never in all my life had time stood still. That is until now.

Staring down the barrel of a gun is scary, hell it's terrifying and at this moment I wish that were the case. I wish the gun would be pointed at me but it's not. No, it's pointed at the one thing in this world I care for more than life itself. That gun is pointed at the love of my life and there's not a damn thing I can do about it except watch it all unfold on the screen in front of me. This screen is literally showing my worst nightmare come true and I am helpless to stop it, we all are. On this screen our unsub, the man who has been tormenting this small town, now holds one of our own. His gun is pointed at Jay Jay and all I can think of is if he pulls that trigger he will be killing us both.

Everyone is frantically working trying to get a read on the situation, trying to find out some new information that will lead us to their whereabouts and all I can do is stare and wonder. Will I get the chance to tell her just how madly, deeply, truly, head over heels in love I am with her or will it end with regrets and a life gone. In that moment all I can think about is, all that I should have done. I should have told her from the moment I met her that she was the one. The only one for me. I am only brought out of my thoughts when I hear Morgan, "You sure baby girl, alright. I know, I know, we will bring her home." He rambled off the details and it all seemed so surreal. And before I knew it we were all running out of the local's sheriff's office headed for the SUVs.

When we got there we set up the live feed again and sure enough the unsub still had Jay Jay in his sights. A plan was made and orders were given and I knew of nothing that was going on because all I could do was stare at the screen. Stare at Jay Jay, look at her beautiful eyes that usually showed so much joy and happiness, now all they show is fear. I am torn away when Hotch places his hand on my shoulder, "Prentiss, you're sitting this one out." I look at him in disbelief, he can't possibly be serious, can he. I mean that is the love of my life, the one I would gladly give my life for how can he honestly think I will just sit by and watch. I expression must have spoken volumes, because he stated matter-of-factly "I could have left you at the station, and if I have to I will hand cuff you, we will get her out, you're not thinking clearly and I need everyone a 100%, you need to be strong for her." I nod, I know he's right but it takes everything in my being not to disobey him.

As they all approach the house I turn my head to the screen and I swear in that moment she was staring right into the camera as though she knew I would be there, and in that moment I saw her mouth "Em, I love you." In that moment my life would change, in that moment the team stormed the room and at that moment the live feed went dead.


	2. Chapter 2

_As they all approach the house I turn my head to the screen and I swear in that moment she was staring right into the camera as though she knew I would be there, and in that moment I saw her mouth "Em, I love you." In that moment my life would change, in that moment the team stormed the room and at that moment the live feed went dead._

The feed went dead. Why, why did the feed go dead? I keep repeating this to myself as I frantically look for cords or wires or some other reason that would explain why the feed went dead, until I realize it's a wireless feed. The next thing I hear stops me on a dime. "We need a medic! Agent down!" Now my mind is in over drive. Medic why do they need a medic? My heart is racing and I swear any minute now it will burst right though my chest. I should go in, but Hotch told me to stay put. Go in. Stay put. Go in. Stay put. Who am I kidding, stay put my ass. Not sure how I got to the front door but I arrive at the same time as the medics, wait did they say Agent down. Shit, shit, shit Jay Jay.

I am now rushing into the house so fast I barely register that I passed Rossi. As I turn the corner someone steps in front of me and grabs hold of me, it's Morgan. "Prentiss, you don't what to go in there."

"The hell I don't, Morgan let me go, I need to see her. I need to tell her how I feel. I need her to be okay."

Instead of letting me go he holds me even tighter, "the medics need room to do their jobs, we need to give them room." His hold tightens even more and now I know something bad has happened. I feel tears burning my eyes. Up until this moment I could only assume it was bad, now. Now I know it is bad.

Hotch looks pissed. His eyes meet mine, no not pissed, lost, he looks lost. Morgan loosens his grip enough so I can turn and see a little of what is going on. I need to see what is going on, I need to see her, I need these tears to stop falling. I am trying like hell to get the tears to stop flowing. As I turn I see her. I see Jay Jay, on the floor. Her light blue shirt now soaked with crimson. God, that's a lot of blood, too much blood. One of the medics is cutting her shirt off, another is starting fluids and a third is applying pressure to her wound. No that last one isn't a medic, I know him, it's Reid. Reid is desperately trying to stop the blood flow. With her shirt off the medic takes over trying to stop the bleeding. Now she is on the stretcher and they are rolling her past me, "She's so pale Morgan, look how pale she is." I didn't register the fact that I had spoken the words out loud until I feel Morgan's grip on my arms tighten.

"She will be alright, she's strong, she is going to be fine." Not sure if he is trying to convince me or himself.

I try and reach out to her to touch some part of her but my body does not react fast enough and when it does all I feel is emptiness. Morgan is pushing me slightly the direction the stretcher went. We are turning the corner but stop in our tracks when we hear, "We need to get a rush on it, we need to get her loaded." "Call ahead and tell them what we have." "I lost her pulse." "What do mean, we just had it and it was strong." "Crap she's coding."

I hear coding and my knees finally give out and I am collapsing. Morgan tries to catch me but we both end up crumbled on the floor. Our eyes meet and his have just as many tears in them as mine. I feel myself shaking uncontrollably now, my breathing is out of control. All I can do is look on as the one person I know I will ever love is dying right there in front of me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. At that moment two hearts stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is my next chapter. Sorry the update took a while but since it was originally a one shot not really sure where I am going with it so updates may not be very timely. Also this is my second story and my first one longer than a one shot. So reviews, suggestions and criticism are all welcomed. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

_I hear coding and my knees finally give out and I am collapsing. Morgan tries to catch me but we both end up crumbled on the floor. Our eyes meet and his have just as many tears in them as mine. I feel myself shaking uncontrollably now, my breathing is out of control. All I can do is look on as the one person I know I will ever love is dying right there in front of me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. At that moment two hearts stopped. _

After what seems like a lifetime the four words that restart my heart, "I have a pulse." The pain in my chest seems to lessen slightly at the thought that her heart is beating and she still has some fight in her. As those words are spoken I look into Morgan's eyes and see the smallest bit of relief. The smallest glimmer of hope. She's a fighter, Jay Jay's a fighter. Turning away from Morgan I see the doors of the ambulance close and before I can register what is happening the ambulance pulls off in full police escort. "Where are they taking her, she needs me? Morgan, where are they taking her?"

"I don't know, Hotch, Rossi?" I see Hotch is saying something but I just can't seem to hear what it is he is saying all I can think is I need to be with Jay Jay. I see Hotch heading to the vehicles with Rossi and Reid in step behind him. Morgan is standing in front of me offering me his hand, which I except and now he and I are near running to catch up with the others.

Sitting in the car I find myself just staring out the window watching the world go by and thinking how much darker the world will be without Jay Jay in it. How her smile and laugh light up the room, how her blue eyes shine and change colors with her mood. I can't imagine a life without her. I can't imagine going on without her in the world. I can't lose the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise if I get the chance I will not only tell her but show her everyday just how very much I love her and just how much I am in love with her.

"God, could this ride be any longer?" I did not realize everyone is exiting the car and Morgan is looking at me "we're here Prentiss." I can't believe I did not realize that the car stopped, doesn't matter I unbuckle my belt and start quick stepping into the emergency room doors. Hotch is at the desk trying to get information, he has his badge out, that should do it, people love to talk to people with badges and guns and Hotch has both. Hotch waves us over and we are now walking down this very long hallway to what can only be described as the dullest and drab place known to man. I can feel it literally sucking the life out of me. We all take a seat that sit for what seems like days until it hit me, "Garcia, we have to call her she saw feed, she needs to know what is going on we need,"

Morgan interrupts me with "she knows, she is on her way, should be here shortly."

"Good, good, Jay Jay would want her here. Oh god her parents did we call her parents, we need to call them."

"I already took care of that. They're on their way," Hotch reassures me. So we continue the epic wait. The hands on the clock I swear are going backwards. We have been here for hours with no word not even a glimpse of a doctor or nurse. I feel myself start to panic, my breathing is getting quicker my heart is once again pounding. I need to get out of here, I need fresh air, "Agent Jareau." We all stand up waiting for whatever the doctor has to say.

"I'm Agent Hotchner, Agent Jareau's supervisor, what can you tell us."

"Well, when Agent Jareau arrived her pulse was extremely weak. As you are all aware the medics had to revive her once in the field. When she came in she was rushed into surgery to evaluate and repair her injuries. She had a gun shot injury to her abdomen. The bullet bounced around but amazingly missed most of her vital organs and the ones it knick we were able to repair. The main issue was the blood lose, the bullet did hit her spleen which is just really a big sponge when it comes to blood. When we were nearly done her heart stopped again. But again we were able to stabilize her and get her heart started. All in all we are happy with the outcome thus far."

The doctor paused. He's not telling us something. For the love of god we are all profilers doesn't he know we can tell he's not telling us the whole story. Hotch must be a mind reader because I hear him speak, "what aren't you telling us?"

"Though the surgery was successful there is still the trauma we have to be concerned about. It appears that somewhere along the line Agent Jareau experienced some sort of head injury. There is some swelling and we will continue to monitor her condition. We currently also are helping her to breath using machines. The next 48 hours are the most crucial. If we don't see some signs of improvement we may have to then consider some alternatives."

"Alternatives, what in the world does that mean." As I say this three more people join us in the conversation. Mr., Mrs. Jareau and Garcia are now with us and the doctor repeats what he just told us. So my question was just left hanging in the air until I hear it repeated but this time by Mrs. Jareau.

"Keeping her hooked up to all these machines may not be the best way for her to live. But we are far from needing to make that decision. We still have time and she is a strong woman with a lot of fight in her. But with that said whoever is in charge of medical decisions for Agent Jareau should be prepared just in case. Are there any other questions I can answer for you?"

"When can we see her?" I ask, stupid question right, I should ask if she will be okay or what else could go wrong but all I want to do is see her with my own eyes.

"Shortly, she is being moved into her own room and then we will let people in to visit but only one or two at a time."

"Thanks doctor. We appreciate all your help." That's Rossi for you always mister cool. Shortly after the doctor left a nurse came in with some paper that need to be filled out. It was handed to Mr. Jareau. He filled out most of it, I guess it was pretty standard info.

"Agent Prentiss" I heard my name. I looked up to meet the eyes of a man who aged 10 years in the last hour. "Yes sir. What can I do for you."

"This part needs to be filled out by her medical proxy." He says this to me like it means something. I am now just staring at the man like he has two heads, come to think of it most of the people in that room are staring at him with the exception of Mrs. Jareau and Hotch.

Hotch I guess decides it a good time to speak, "about six months ago Jay Jay came to me with a request. She asked me to file the necessary paperwork to make you her medical proxy. Apparently she discussed this with her parents and she felt you would know her wishes best of all."

Shock that is what I am feeling at this moment. Pure shock. How could she do this to me, how could she make me the one to decide whether she lives or dies? How do I decide that? How do I prepare myself to say good bye to the best thing in my life? How do I make that choice? Can I make that choice.?


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so here is the next chapter of my story. Sorry it took so long but I was having difficulties figuring out where I wanted to go with this chapter. Funny thing is as I write this authors note I still don't know where I am going with it just thought it best to sit down and type. Hoping for the best, let me know what you all think.

_Shock that is what I am feeling at this moment. Pure shock. How could she do this to me, how could she make me the one to decide whether she lives or dies? How do I decide that? How do I prepare myself to say good bye to the best thing in my life? How do I make that choice? Can I make that choice?_

Filling out the paperwork somehow feels wrong, but I do it because it's what Jay Jay wants, and like I could ever deny her anything. Right? After the painful process of paperwork, god I hate paperwork the nurse comes and tells us that Jay Jay is settled in her room and that we can go and see her. She tries her best to prepare us, about all the different machines that are helping her and that it looks really scary and that it is a lot to take in but they are there to help her. We all sit there watching as her parents make the long journey to where Jay Jay is. It's somewhat comforting watching them walk down the hallway together arms wrapped around each other, supporting each other. God only knows how they are handling it. I can't imagine my child fighting for their life and what I would do. Minutes seem like hours but eventually Mr. and Mrs. Jareau return. I can't think of anything to say to them. What can be said? They are talking to Hotch, I can only assume he is telling them how sorry he is or something reassuring. As they continue talking I see Morgan and Garcia head in.

Good, she will need his support. They can get through this together. Why they aren't a couple, I find myself wondering, I mean it really makes sense. They are so cute together with their constant flirting. Really Prentiss, this is what you are focused on at the moment. How Garcia and Morgan would actually be perfect for each other. But now that I think of it they really would, Jay Jay's right they are made for each other. What the hell am I doing my best friend, the woman I am in love with is lying their helpless and fighting for her life, and I am thinking of Garcia and Morgan. As I berate myself they exit the room. They embrace each other and I see him whisper in her ear. They approach the Jareau's giving each a hug and say what I can only again assume are reassuring words. I watch this interaction as Rossi and Reid go in.

Poor Reid, the guy is still so young. I can't imagine what this is doing to him. He and Jay Jay are so close, he really is like her little brother. He cares so much for her. He has already lost so many of those close to him, I can't imagine what losing her will do. Rossi, the ever stoic Rossi. I know he cares for her more than he does most of us. Maybe he sees himself as a father figure or maybe because she looks up to him so that they have this bond. Though at times they get on each other's nerves, they have a connection I will never understand. As they leave her room Reid's eyes are even more red than when he went in and to my surprise Rossi no longer looks as stoic. He places a hand on Reid's shoulder. I can't do this. I can't go in there, what do I say, what do I do? As I prepare myself for the impossible I see Hotch make his way to her room. Good, I have some more time to think about this.

I wonder what Hotch is saying to her. Sorry for getting you shot, though not his fault, like me and the rest of the team I know he is blaming himself. I have never seen such sadness and such lose as I have in his eyes today. I am truly impressed at how well he is handling this all but really I expect nothing less from the guy. I wonder if he has even cried or if he will, maybe tonight at the hotel when no one is around. I know I have cried more in these last few hours than all my years combined. Fighting even more tears I see Hotch exit but immediately stops and is now talking to the nurse. He's looking at me. Great why do I feel like I'm in trouble. Now the nurse is looking at me, even better. Maybe they are thinking of sedating me, I hope so, cause that would really help the situation and my complete lack of control. Okay now he is gesturing me to come to him as he approaches the Jareaus. As we all converge as one large group I can only imagine what he is going to say.

"The nurse and doctors said there's not much more that can be done tonight and that she will more than likely be asleep for some time. We should all head back to the hotel and try and get some sleep. Visiting hours start at 9:00am and we are all more than welcomed back though the rules will be the same. Only two or so in at a time. Mr. and Mrs. Jareau we have a room that you both can stay in, it's not far from here and they have all my contact information in case something does happen." I see them nod their acceptance and everyone starts to pack up and head for the exit when I finally find my voice again.

"Hotch, I haven't seen her yet. I can't leave until I see her." It's the truth, I will not leave this hospital until I see Jennifer is alive. "Prentiss, you're not going anywhere." Man I hate that matter-of-fact tone he has.

"What do you mean I'm not going anywhere, why can't I see her. I need to see her Hotch. It's not fair everyone else got to see her why can't," before I finish Hotch is interrupting me and pulling me aside away from the rest. I am preparing myself for a quick lecture on how childish I just acted but instead I get "By nowhere I meant you are staying here. She needs someone here with her and as you so adamantly stated you need her too. Emily, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, tell her what she means to you and tell her why she has to fight." I have never heard him speak so softly before. I nod, in complete understanding of what he said yet the gravity of the words have yet to sink in.

He is heading back to the group I follow just behind, head hung. God my head hurts. So much going on, don't think I can see let alone think straight. Everyone is slowing making their way out the exit, Mrs. Jareau turns to me as though she is going to say something but nothing comes out. I see the pain in her eyes, the emptiness behind them, nothing like the pictures or the way Jay Jay describes her. I do the only thing I can, I embrace her, hugging her I whisper in her ear that I will watch out for her daughter, that I won't leave her side, that I will let her know if anything changes. Hoping this reassures her a little as we pull away she nods her head, Mr. Jareau looks at me and holds out his hand. I shake it promising to stay with his daughter no matter what.

As they all head out I turn to the nurse who simply smiles at me. She knows as well as I do there's nothing she can say or do that will make this situation any easier so she doesn't even try. She's walking beside me down the hall to the door where everyone one else entered looking upset and sad and exited looking lost and broken. I swallow and take a deep breath as I place my hand on the door to push it open, when I am stopped dead in my tracks. On the door is this horrible little rectangle window that allows me to look into this room that seems to hold nothing but despair. Inside I see the person I have been dying to see all day and right now I can't bring myself to open the door. She is lying motionless covered in a white sheet, hooked up to all kinds of machines. She looks so pale, so helpless, and so lifeless. All of a sudden it feels so real. Closing my eyes I turn around, to block the imagine I just saw, and find myself being embraced by the nurse.

"I can't imagine what you are going though. I know it is a lot to take in but everything in there is helping her. Your friend is strong, she has proved that already, now you need to be strong. I know it's not easy but she needs you. Talk to her, it doesn't matter about what just talk to her. If you need anything just hit the nurse's button and ask for Katie." I know she's right but still it takes me a few more minutes before I can turn and face that door again. With my hand now firmly placed on it I push with all my might, okay mental might and take those first tentative steps into the room.

Approaching the bed I hear her heart monitor beeping, I hear the sounds from the machine helping her breath and I see her. God do I see her. I can do this, I have to this, for her. Walking around the bed I find a chair and sit. I reach for her hand. My initially reaction is to pull away. Her hand is so cold but I fight through it and instead pick her hand up and cradle in mine.

"I don't know if I can do this." I am startle for a moment by my own voice. I haven't heard it for what seems like hours. Deep breath Prentiss. Listening to myself I take a deep breath and at that moment I decide to stop thinking with my head and to think with my heart, saying the only thing that comes to mind, "Jennifer, I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

I want to thank all those who have taken the time to review my story and thank you to all those who read and don't review. Being an avid reader I sometimes don't take the time to review the stories I read and am making an effort to improve on my reviewing. So thank you for the encouragement. I hope you like it and sorry it has taken so long to post. I just couldn't figure out what to write. So here is the next chapter. A heart to heart so to speak. Like always let me know what you think.

"_I don't know if I can do this." I am startle for a moment by my own voice. I haven't heard it for what seems like hours. Deep breath Prentiss. Listening to myself I take a deep breath and at that moment I decide to stop thinking with my head and to think with my heart, saying the only thing that comes to mind, "Jennifer, I love you."_

I can't believe I just said it out loud. I have wanted to say this to her for months, years even and now I finally say those three words out loud. Man did it feel good. "I love you. I love you. I love you." Yup still feels good. I can feel myself smiling. Man I must look like a fool.

"God Jennifer I love you so much it hurts. What do I do if you don't make it? How do I go on? Can I go on?" My head is pounding. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. "I… Jenn….You…. Damn why is this so hard?" I can do this. I have to do this. Hotch said to tell her how I feel, what she means to me, and tell her why she needs to fight.

"Do you remember the first time we met? I know you do but do you know that since that moment I knew I loved you. I knew from our very first meeting, how ever brief that meeting was, that I loved you. It may not have been love, like I'm in love with you love but I have had feelings for you since the very first day we met. Your eyes were so kind, so warm, so welcoming, so not like most in our line of work. I'm not sure when it happened or even if you could look back and say yup that's the moment my feelings went from love, to in love but somewhere along the lines my love for you as a friend turned into something more, something so much more." Okay maybe I can do this.

"You know I have never been good with expressing my feelings. All this heart to heart stuff has always been so hard for me. Okay so let see. When did I realize my feelings were more than friendly? I guess it hit me when I was talking to Jane about how we can't help who we fall in love with. I think I did a pretty good job at hiding it but truth be told it hit me like a ton of bricks. At that moment I realized I fell in love with my best friend and that thought scared me to death." Okay so far so good. I think I am actually starting to relax. Keep going Prentiss, if you think too much you will talk yourself out of this.

"You, the team…. I never felt like I belonged before. I never felt truly home. But you and the team, you make me feel at home, not only at home but you have given me a family, something I never thought I would have. I know I have an actually family but you all are so much more. You all know me better then they ever will. You in particular have managed to break through all my hard exterior walls, all my compartments, and all my doubts." Holding her hand looking down at her I find myself lost once again. So many thoughts in my head that refuse to be verbalized I have no idea how to continue. I feel tears in my eyes once again but let them fall this time.

"Jenn, you have so much to live for. Do you know how many people love you, how many people need you? Your parents, they look so lost." Should I be telling you this? I'm suppose to be making you feel better right. No I am suppose to remind you why you need to fight, why you need to live. "Your dad looks like he has aged 10 years since you have been here. I know it sounds rough, but you need to know this. Garcia. God poor Garcia. I don't think she will look at the world the same if you don't pull through. Her eyes already seemed dimmer, her smile, it wasn't even there. Morgan cried. He and I held each other and he cried. Morgan doesn't cry. Reid. Well Reid surprised me. He jumped into action when you were shot, tried to control the bleeding but afterwards he reminded me of a lost puppy. His stare was blank. Rossi, well he is always hard to read but I know he cares for you like his daughter. I know this is tearing him up inside. Hotch. Dear god Hotch. I have never heard him speak so softly, so eerily calm before. His expression, which is so very non-affected by anything looked like he was about to crumble." I hope she can hear this. I hope all this isn't for nothing. But than again I guess it is for me too. To help me come to terms with what is going on.

"I guess than that only leaves me. You already know I love you. Okay maybe you don't but I have told you, you're just in a coma so you may not have heard me but I have told you. I can't imagine what my life will be without. I don't want to. I don't think I can stay at the BAU, I don't think I will be able to walk the same halls, see the same people and not have you there as a constant. It will only cause me more pain." Great more guilt, too late already said it, can't take it back now.

"You are the single most loving person I have ever met. Your smile literally can light up a room. Don't know if you know that, but it can. It can make those around you forget the bad. You know they say that the eyes are the window to ones soul and man is that the truth. Your eyes tell so much about what you are thinking and what you are feeling. The shades of blue your eyes turn. Never knew so many blues existed but apparently they do. But what surprised me more than seeing your soul, is that I know you can see mine. When you look at me you make me feel as though I am the only one in a room filled with hundreds. You can see what I am think before I know what I am thinking. You know me better than I know myself. Since meeting you I have learned so much about myself that it scares me. It scares me how much you have taught me about me. I know I have already talked about your smile but I can't help but talk about it again. I love your smile, but what I love most about your smile is your lips. How so badly I want to kiss them, how badly I want them to whisper I love you too." God do I love those lips. I have dreamed of those lips. I feel myself smiling. Than I find myself not smiling, the smile is gone because everything I just said may not matter in the long run. It may not change a thing. She may still die with never knowing just how I feel, how much she means to me.

"I can't lose you. You can't die, you can't give up, and you have to fight. You have to fight for all those people who love you. You have to fight for us, for what could be if only you wake up. Jennifer I promise, if you wake up I will tell you this all over again. I will tell you exactly how I feel but not only will I tell you that I love you and am in love with you but I will show you every single day just how much I love you." I feel my eyelids getting heavy and exhaustion finally wins out.

I am awoken to the sounds off Jenn's monitors going out of control and before I can fully comprehend what is going on, a swarm of doctors and nurses storm the room. "She's seizing." "What the hell happened she was stable?" Everything is a blur, all the technical stuff the doctors are yelling is going in one ear and out the other. I have no idea what happened. Katie the nurse from the other night is pulling at my arms trying to get me out of the room. "We need to give them room to work on her."

"She's coding." "Grab the paddles." "Charging." "Clear." "Anything?" "Nothing." "Clear." "Again." "Still nothing."

I am trying to figure out how long this has been going on. How long they have been working on Jennifer. Watching helplessly I can feel myself having a panic attack, my chest is tightening, my breathing is no where near regular, I am feeling light headed and finally the events take its toll and I release the contents of my stomach all over poor Katie. She is still holding me when I hear "Call it. Time of death 3:13am."


	6. Chapter 6

Okay here is the next chapter. Not sure how many more chapters there will be thinking at least one more but I am having a lot of fun writing this story so who knows it may continue a bit longer. I hope you will like the latest installment let me know what you think.

_I am trying to figure out how long this has been going on. How long they have been working on Jennifer. Watching helplessly I can feel myself having a panic attack, my chest is tightening, my breathing is nowhere near regular, I am feeling light headed and finally the events take its toll and I release the contents of my stomach all over poor Katie. She is still holding me when I hear "Call it. Time of death 3:13am." _

"Compassionate and loving God, yours is the beauty of childhood and yours is the fullness of years. Comfort us in our sorrow, strengthen us with hope, and breathe peace into our troubled hearts. Assure us that the love we had was not in vain indeed make it a part of the store of goodness you are even now pouring out upon her in your eternal kingdom. Indeed help us to bless you for the gift you gave us in her, for the joy she gave all who knew her, for the memories that will abide with us, and for the assurance that she lives forever in the joy and peace of your presence. Guide us through this time of sadness with the light of your love and the strength of your compassion we ask it in the name of Christ Jesus. Amen. "

Standing here I hear the words that are being spoken though the events that lead to today are still so surreal. Standing here graveside is the ultimate reminder of how short life is and that it literally can change without a moment's notice. The last time my life, as I knew it, had made sense was when the whole team was gathered at the police station giving the profile. Than life turned upside down and we were not only an Agent down but a loved one as well.

Looking at the coffin that is being slowly lowered into the ground I can literally feel my heart hurt. God so many sad faces, so many people, whose lives will never be the same, including mine. Looking up I see her parents standing next to the priest who just performed the ceremony. They are standing so close, getting strength from one another, hopefully that strength will be enough to help them get through this tragedy. I see everyone slowly making their way towards them, offering them their condolences on their loss, at least, that is what I assume. I can't imagine what is like to bury your child. I can't imagine how they will go on, how can they, how can anyone who knew her.

Hotch is the first of the team to talk to her parents. Doing the boss thing and taking the lead. I really do appreciate him and his professionalism. Shaking her father's hand and giving her mother a hug, I see the sadness in his eyes. I wonder what goes through his mind. He has a child, he has Jack, I know he can feel their pain. Morgan and Garcia are next. Morgan looks his typical Morgan toughness. Firm hand shake a lowered head, you can even see the beads of sweat on his head. Garcia lacks her usual colorfulness. But I guess at a funeral that is what is expected of you. Her eyes have unshed tears. Morgan really is a good guy. I love how protective he is of her. He is good for her and she him. Reid looks awkward like always. You can literally see him try and decide if he should offer his hand or a hug. Luckily for him Rossi is right behind him giving him a pat on the back and walking him though the process of giving condolences.

Turning back to the coffin I can't help but think what she would think about all this. You can tell she was loved by how many people have shown up, so very loved. So many wonderful stories that were told really give you a glimpse of her life. The usual was said, she wouldn't want us to morn her death but celebrate her life but it is so much easier said than done. I wonder how anyone will be the same again. This case has affected us all to the core and no one, and I mean no one will walk away from this and not be changed. Looking up from the coffin I see her parents approach me.

"Agent Prentiss…"

"Please, Emily." Agent Prentiss really, this is definitely not the place for formalities, I mean she just buried her daughter. A daughter we couldn't save, I couldn't save.

"Emily. Thank you for everything you did for our daughter." Her father is thanking me for what. Why is he thanking me for not saving his baby girl?

"Sir, I was just doing my job, I wish we could have done more." What a stupid thing to say, of course we wish we could have done more, I wish I could have saved her. Shaking his hand I tell him we will stay in touch. What else can I say, what else can I offer. Nothing there is nothing else I can do.

After excusing myself I find my team. Rossi is the first to say something "I am getting to old for this. Been to way too many of these." No one else says anything. I guess there is really nothing else to say. We all have been to, too many of these, victims, family, friends and of course fellow Agents. Will it ever end, I know the answer but you can wish right. We all start towards the cars but when we get there I find I can't get in.

"Guys, I need some fresh air. Think I will walk back to the hotel." I really do need the air. It's been a long day and an even longer two weeks.

"I think I could use some air as well." Morgan the constant big brother.

"Thanks Morgan but I'll be fine on my own. I really need to clear my head. If you don't mind?" I knew he wouldn't mind, I knew he was mainly offering to keep an eye on me. He nodded, more in understanding then agreement.

"Let us know when your back. Depending on the time we can all meet up for dinner." Hotch always looking out for us all. "Okay, will do." Saying this I head off walking, not sure where I am going, but knowing I need a little time alone, away from good nature friends who are constantly asking how I am holding up.

Aimlessly walking I find myself at a park. Sitting on a bench I can finally reflect on the events of the last three weeks. The victims, all the victims their blood, on our hands, on my hands. The fact that we were always just one step behind the unsub. Always finding the victim as they were taking their last breaths. Not being able to catch this son-of-a-bitch until he had one of our own and like always reaching her just in time to see her bleeding out in front of us.

I find myself not only thinking about this case, though this case has made me question everything life has to offer, but about all our case past, present and future. Are we making a difference? Am I making a difference? Can I continue with all that has happened? If I continue how much will this job take from me? No idea how long I have been sitting here but it's getting colder. Wiping some tears from my eyes I know I need to head back, everyone will be worried about me. Reaching the hotel I pull out my phone to let Hotch know that I made it back, telling him that I want to change and maybe shower before we all get together for dinner.

Walking out of the elevator I let out a heavy sigh. Opening my door I throw I bag on the table by the door and kick my shoes off. Running my hand through my hair I head for the couch in the middle of the room, where I finally, completely collapse. Letting the tears fall that I have held in all day and for most of the last three weeks and once again breathing is difficult. I was so consumed in my thoughts and tears that I didn't realize I was no longer alone until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck and the sweetest lips placing a kiss on my head. Now a chin resting where the kiss was placed.

Reaching up I place my hand on the hands that are engulfing me in a warm embrace. I don't need to turn around I know exactly who it is. The only person who can possibly comfort me. "I don't know how they did it? How they managed to be so strong? I don't know how much more of this I can take? How much more we can take. This case…. We came so close…. God what would I have done…" I don't really know what it is I am trying to say.

As I desperately try to communicate what it is I want to say the hands that were offering me comfort and strength have now disappeared. The person belonging to the hands has left. With my head hung I place it in my hands when I feel one of my hands being pulled away and held so lovingly.

"I know what you want to say Em. Look at me." Turning to face the calming voice I am met with the most amazingly beautiful blue eyes. "You didn't lose me. You saved me." Said with such conviction but laced with love. I know she's right. I know we saved her but we came close to burying her just like we did today to, Sara Jennings, the last victim before Jay Jay.

With my eyes closed I begin thinking about the funeral but before my thoughts can completely go back to the events of earlier, I feel a hand gently brush my check, a thumb running across my cheek repeatedly trying to relax me. Realizing where my thoughts are headed I slowly open my eyes and again are met with the most beautiful, most caring, most loving blue eyes along with a smile that takes my breath away, but this time in a good way.

"I love you so much Jenn." Leaning forward our foreheads meet, "I love you too." All my attention is now that smile but more importantly those very red lips. Reaching my head up to cup her check I begin my decent on those lips, mere inches away I can feel her breath when I hear the most obtrusive noise, a knock at the door. Really now, the team I am assuming, god they have the worst timing known to man. Opening the door sure enough it's the team with take out. As we sit there I can't help but stare at her, the her with her head completely shaved, the her with a large incision on her head, the her I thought I would lose forever, the her I never thought I would get to tell I love you to, the her that just now said she loved me too.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay it's no secret that this chapter has taken some time to write. I knew exactly where I wanted to go with the last chapter but had so much trouble with this one. I wanted to fill in the blank when it comes to time of death and then Jay Jay not being dead. Also I figure there should be some explanation of how the I love you, and the almost kiss came about. Also, thanks to those who have read and reviewed. The encouraging words go a long way and help guilt me into writing another chapter. So without further delay since we know there has been plenty of that already. Here is the latest installment.

"_I love you so much Jenn." Leaning forward our foreheads meet, "I love you too." All my attention is now on that smile but more importantly those very red lips. Reaching my head up to cup her check I begin my decent on those lips, mere inches away I can feel her breath when I hear the most obtrusive noise, a knock at the door. Really now, the team I am assuming, god they have the worst timing known to man. Opening the door sure enough it's the team with take out. As we sit there I can't help but stare at her, the her with her head completely shaved, the her with a large incision on her head, the her I thought I would lose forever, the her I never thought I would get to tell I love you to, the her that just now said she loved me too. _

Dinner with the team did a lot to ease my mind. They have been incredibly supportive through this whole thing. No clue how I would have survived without them all. Garcia of course was the last to leave and only after Morgan nearly drug her away. We sent Jay Jay to bed a couple of hours ago, she was such a trooper, trying to stay awake but finally we, the whole team, couldn't take it anymore and forced her to bed. But now the room is empty, just me alone with my thoughts.

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. I can finally find myself relaxing, knowing that Jay Jay is out of the hospital and here in my hotel room. It really does a lot to easy my mind. Walking over to the bedroom I find myself leaning against the doorframe peering in, at the beauty that is Jennifer. She seems so peaceful, with a smile on her lips. I can tell that she too is relaxing, she too is starting the long, slow and drawn out process of recovering. I'm not sure how long I have been here just standing there staring but I know giving the chance I could literally stand here for the rest of my life.

Thinking back to our earlier conversation and the realization of how close I came to losing her comes flooding back. Closing my eyes I flash back to the moment when I felt more pain than I thought ever possible, the moment where I am trying to figure out how long this has been going on. How long they have been working on Jennifer. Watching helplessly I can feel myself having a panic attack, my chest is tightening, my breathing is nowhere near regular, I am feeling light headed and finally the events take its toll and I release the contents of my stomach all over poor Katie. She is still holding me when I hear "Call it. Time of death 3:13am."

When I hear them call time of death I collapse pulling Katie with me and I hear this god awful scream. It takes me a second to realize it is me screaming. "No. No Jay Jay. No, you can't leave me. You can't." Tears are streaming down my face. Somehow I found the strength to stand and find that I am running into the room where everyone is just standing around staring and no one is doing anything. They have probably seen all this before, the loss of a loved one, the distraught family member refusing to acknowledge there is nothing more that can be done.

Reaching Jenn, I see a lifeless body, just lying there. I grab for her hand but soon realize I bypassed the hand and am cradling her body in my arms. Her cold, motionless, lifeless body. Pressing my lips to her temple, I find I am squeezing my eyes shut. Not sure if I am trying to wish this away or just trying to stop the tears. I open my eyes only to the realization that the situation is still very much real. I pull away now brushing my hand through her hair. My mind is racing. I am picturing my life without her, picturing what I will tell everyone, picturing what could have been, picturing when life was so very much easier. Leaning in I close my eyes once again and place a very gentle, very tender kiss near her lips, the breathing tube preventing an actual kiss, damn tube. Pulling away I say, for what could be the last time, three simple words, three words that hold so much meaning, three words that I thought could fix everything, "I love you."

Beep, beep, beep, beep. I hear these series of beeps and just wonder why the hell the owner of this obtrusive pager can't just turn it off or leave the room. For the love of good I just lost my best friend, the love of my life, no not the love of my life, she is just simply my life. I finally can't take it any longer, "for the love of god can someone please stop that irritating beeping?" I see movement and think thank god, now I can have some peace and quiet. But to my surprise instead of turning it off or leaving the room to give me privacy everyone is moving but they are rushing to Jennifer's side. For the second time I feel myself being pulled away from Jennifer.

"I can't believe it, her heart, its beating. Call the O.R. let them know that we are on our way and what to expect. Page Dr. Stevenson let him know we need him yesterday. Agent Prentiss we need you to sign this." With blinding trust I sign a piece of paper that I have no idea what it is for.

Once again I have no clue what is going on. For someone who is usually very in control of everything and very on top of my surroundings I am beginning to question my competence. "What's going on, what are they doing, what did I just sign?"

"Well it would appear that Agent Jareau isn't ready to leave you just yet. And the paper you signed was your consent for her to go to surgery." Turning I see Katie staring at me with a huge smile on her face. Okay not really the response I was expecting but the small bit of humor was much needed and extremely welcomed. It would appear that the horrible pager beeping was actually her heart monitor, god I really am smarter than this.

Katie led me to the O.R. waiting room, telling me that she will call Hotch and fill him in on what just happened. Kneeling in front of me, she places a hand on my knee. "She is in good hands. I can't imagine how scared you are but know, this again proves just how strong Agent Jereau is. Agent Prentiss you need to keep your faith believe in your friend."

She is now getting up to leave. "Jay Jay." I find myself saying. Katie looks at me "her name is Jay Jay, and pleases call me Emily, there is no need for formalities especially after I threw up all over you, which, by the way so sorry about that." The only response I get is a nod of the head and a reassuring smile. With Katie gone I am once again left to my thoughts. Again I came so close to losing her. How much more can I take, how much more can she take, how much more can she give, am I asking too much of her to continue to fight, am I being selfish in not wanting her to go? I find myself thinking about this for some time until I come to the decision. Yup, but I'm okay with that. I will be selfish, I want Jay Jay, I want her alive, I want her to be alright, I want her to fight, but most of all I just want her, I just want to love her.

Time seemed to crawl. Not sure how long I was alone in that room waiting but that did eventually change. After watching the hands on the clock not move for years, okay over dramatic but not far from the truth, the team appeared with the Jareau's. Garcia is rushing me with arms wide open engulfing me in a hug. Her eyes are dark but then again so is everyone's. She pulls away and I get the question I have been dreading and the one I can't answer and it seems everyone in the room wants to know the same thing. "What the hell happened?" Good question but not a clue.

I tell them the little I can remember. Leaving nothing out and by nothing I mean nothing. The declarations of love, the needing her to live, the giving of guilt if she doesn't, the beeping, vomiting on Katie, time of death, more declaring love, the kiss, more beeping, signing a paper, her being rushed off and finally here we are. As I finish my head is hung and I am looking very intently at my hands. Finally looking up I see everyone staring at me. Okay I know, a lot to take in believe me I know, I was there after all but could one of them say something, anything. Hotch starts to open his mouth, yes someone is going to say something but then he closes it again. Damn so close. But finally the silence is broken when a doctor appears.

"Agent Prentiss," I stand indicating I am Agent Prentiss. "I'm Dr. Stevenson. I am the one that operated on Agent Jareau." As soon as he said her name I sat back down, not really able to stand, not sure what he will say. He is now kneeling in front of me looking right at me, right into my eyes, making sure I not only hear the words he is about to say but see him, to know that the words are real. "As you are very much aware Agent Jareau's"

I stop him right there "Her name is Jay Jay, please call her that, and please call me Emily."

"As you know Jay Jay's heart stop. We believe the reason for that was due to bleeding in her brain. It caused an immense amount of pressure and finally it was too much. We were able to release the pressure by cutting into her skull which allowed the blood to drain and to lessen the pressure. It does appear that, at least for now, the bleeding has stopped and the swelling has not increased. She is incredibly lucky, and incredibly strong. We will be monitoring her very closely for the next 24 hours and honestly we don't know if there will be any lasting effects from her brain being deprived of oxygen and from the bleeding itself. I wish I could tell you more but really it is a waiting game. She is being moved back to her room and you should be able to see her when she is settled back in. I would imagine an hour or two. All signs so far after surgery are looking good. Do you have any questions for me, any of you?" He says this last bit as he looks at all the onlookers. Some questions were asked. Mainly questions he couldn't answer but he tried to be reassuring.

After he left I remained seated and looking at my hands until I found the strength to look up. Big mistake. Everyone looked like they weren't there. They all looked so distant, so raw, can't blame them guessing I look very similar if not worse. The doctor was right a little after an hour Katie came and said Jay Jay was back in her room and resting comfortably. I wonder how she knows it's a comfortable rest or if she is just saying that for our sake. She once again leads us to Jenn's room where in the same groups as earlier we make our way in. And just like last time I am last to go in, and just like last time Hotch tells me to stay with her and to talk to her. Unlike last time the team and the Jareau's, who are honorary team members, don't leave, apparently they are headed to the cafeteria, refusing to leave.

Walking up to the door I find myself reliving prior events. Standing in front of the door that leads to Jenn, hand ready to push but before I can look through the rectangle window of doom Katie stops me. "Emily, before you go in I want to warn you." I turn to look at her, trying to get a read as to what she is going to say. I mean really how much more warning will this visit need my eyes meet hers and she continues. "Like before she is hooked up to a lot of machines all doing what is needed to keep her alive. Like last time there is a breathing tube but what I want to warn you about is her physical appearance. In order to operate they needed to have a clear area and since it was her head, they had to shave her head. She also has a sizable incision, which is swollen, red, and still a little bloody." She continues and part of me is listening and part of me is thinking, did she say they had to shave her head, all of it, I find myself wondering. Nodding, letting her know that I heard what she said I turn towards the door and this time without hesitation I push the door open and walk in. Like I have done so many times already I approach the bed, though this time with more confidence than previously. That is until I see the complete and utter lack of hair. My hand instinctively moves toward where just an hour ago beautifully long blonde hair once had been. Touching the opposite side of the incision I gently caress her head. Sitting down I take her hand again and just stare at her, at the beauty that is Jennifer Jareau.

Time is the enemy but at the same time brings hope. I have not left this bed in what seems like days. Okay in reality one day but hey that's still a long time to sit and do nothing except stare at Jenn and continue to tell her over and over again how much I love her, how much she means to me, how much she means to so much many, and telling her what we will have when she wakes up. The team, true to their word stayed the whole night and into the next day. Everyone taking turns, giving me some alone time, each member doing exactly the same as I have, talking, staring the usual. With visiting hours once again coming to an end to what I guess is technically the second day, god I don't even know what day it is, I am again left alone with Jay Jay, left alone with my thoughts until thankfully sleep takes hold of me and I allow myself to give in.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Man even in my sleep I hear beeping. Wait no, not in my sleep, in my reality. I am again awoken to the noise that brings nothing but pain and despair. Opening my eyes, trying to prepare myself for the worst, however, I find something very unexpected. I see two of the most beautiful blue eyes, lord knows I have wanted to see them for ages. However, looking into those eyes, I don't see the light that is Jay Jay, the love that is her, I see fear and I see panic and I realize that what I see is how she is feeling. Reaching for her hand I give it a squeeze.

"Jennifer. Jennifer look at me. It's going to be okay. You need to try and relax. Look at me, you can do it. Just try and breathe slowly. The tube is helping you breath okay." Where this new found confidence has come from, not a clue but right now I don't care. Jenn needs me and she shall have me. Before I can reach the call button a swarm of doctors and nurses come flooding in, including Katie. Does this woman never sleep? Katie approaches me but this time I don't need help backing away to give them room, I just make sure I am in eye sight of Jenn so she knows I am there and that everything will be alright.

"Jay Jay. I need you to try and relax. Can you do that for me." I see her try and nod but not being able to, she finally decides to just comply. "I am going to ask you a series of questions. I want you to blink once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand?" One blink, good she under stands. "I know you probably want the tube out, but before that we need to make sure of some things first, okay?" Another blink. As the doctor asks her question after question all I can do is look on with hope, so much hope. I keep looking at her with as much confidence and as much love as I can. Not sure who I do this more for, her or me. After what seems like an endless stream of questions I see the doctor reaching for the tube and before I can comprehend what is happening the tube is out and Jenn is coughing but more importantly Jenn is breathing. The doctors continue their evaluation of her as I just look on, Katie whispers that she is going to let the team know, all I can do is nod in acknowledgement.

With the number of doctors and nurses decreasing I find myself inching my way closer to her. Finally the last doctor, Dr. Stevenson, " Jay Jay, you really gave us a scare, especially Emily here. All in all I am very happy with your progress, things are looking good. I could not have asked for anything better. I'll give you two sometime alone before the rest of your group shows up. Take it easy Jay Jay, your throat will be sore, so keeping talking to a minimum if possible. I'll be back in a little while to check on you. Emily, take could care of her while I'm gone." With that he leaves.

The whole time he was talking I never took my eyes off of her, now reaching for the chair I pull it close to her bed and sit down still staring at her. I have waited for this moment for what seems like forever, I have waited for her to wake up, for her to open those baby blue eyes of hers, for her to be alright. Her head is turned toward me, her eyes shining, the light, that sparkle that I love so much has returned. I can't imagine a greater feeling than seeing that sparkle. Okay that smile she has plastered on her face, which, I can only assume resembles the stupid grin on mine, is a very close second. I see the wheels turning in her head as I she processes all that just has happened and all that she has just learned. She looks at me, squeezes my hand and finally after days of being able to say nothing she finally tries to speak, "Em."

I interrupt her by raising my hand "Jennifer. Whatever it is it can wait. You heard the doctor, you should rest." She reaches for my hand and pushes it down onto the bed and looks into my eyes. She closes her eyes, good she's going to be a good patient and listen to the doctors. Her eyes open, nope, from the look in her eyes she's not going rest, she is going to say whatever it is that is on her mind. "Em." She continues to look at me and I see this devilish grin. "I love you too." With that said she closes her eyes and to my surprise and relief she falls asleep. She loves me too, I can't believe my ears, she said I love you too. I have waited a lifetime this moment.


	8. Chapter 8

Here is my last chapter for this story though I am contemplating a sequel. I started and restarted this chapter at least a half dozen times. Also I am currently working on another story which is taking up a lot of my writing time. Plan on having more than one chapter written before I post so that updates are quicker and not so sporadic. Let me know if you are up for more Emily and Jay Jay goodness. Maybe I can come up with something. As always reviews are welcomed as well as story ideas. Okay so here goes nothing hope you enjoy.

_I interrupt her by raising my hand "Jennifer. Whatever it is it can wait. You heard the doctor, you should rest." She reaches for my hand and pushes it down onto the bed and looks into my eyes. She closes her eyes, good she's going to be a good patient and listen to the doctors. Her eyes open, nope, from the look in her eyes she's not going rest, she is going to say whatever it is that is on her mind. "Em." She continues to look at me and I see this devilish grin. "I love you too." With that said she closes her eyes and to my surprise and relief she falls asleep. She loves me too, I can't believe my ears, she said I love you too. I have waited a lifetime this moment._

Home. We were finally heading home. After what seemed like a lifetime of hell finally springs hope. Jennifer had been released from the hospital about a week ago. We attended the funeral the day after she was discharged. The rest of the team had headed back to Quantico two days later but I remained behind to watch over her, to make sure she got cleared to fly and to return home. Today is the day we have been waiting for. The doctors have given her the okay to fly but strict instructions on what she can and can't do and of course made sure she set an appointment with her doctor when she returned. We are currently sitting on the BAU jet that the Bureau has so kindly allowed us to use.

Sitting here I find for the first time in days, weeks even, that I am not thinking of the past, not thinking of what I had nearly lost. No, today here in the plane I find myself dreaming of the future, of my future with Jay Jay and what we will have. Looking out the window with her head in my lap, our hands intertwined and her resting peacefully I can't imagine life any other way. I see a future with Jennifer, kids with Jennifer, a life with Jennifer and I can't help but smile. Feeling Jay Jay stir slightly I look down and see that she is now facing me and her smile I can only assume is matching my own.

"What are you thinking?" Such a simple question.

"You." A simple response to a simple question and it's the truth, the honest to god truth. All my thoughts revolve around her. The good thoughts the bad thoughts all my thoughts revolve around her. I move my hand from hers as she begins to sit up. She has this smile on her face and this look in her eyes that tells me she believes me but at the same time doesn't. "Really. I was thinking of you. Okay of you and me. About our future, our life together." Saying this last part I lower my eyes to our hands that are once again intertwined. We still really haven't discussed our future what will happen when we return. We talked about our feelings for each other but never discussed what these feelings meant and where they were going. We mainly focused on getting Jay Jay better. Swallowing the nervousness in my throat I look from our hands to the most calming, most loving blue eyes and I know I have nothing to be nervous about. "Jennifer, I love you. I have loved you from the moment we met and I have no doubt that I will love you until the moment I die. The house, the white picket fence, the dog the cat the house full of kids, all of it. I want all of it with you."

"Good." Good, that's her response to my heart felt declaration on love and on my version of our future. Good. What kind of response is good?

"What kind of response is good?" Okay didn't actually think I would ask that question but hey, I guess it's the only way I will find out what it means right? Lost in my thoughts on the definition of good I hear a slight giggle. This giggle causes me to come back to reality. Looking towards the giggle I see Jennifer looking at me giggling and that sparkle in her eyes that I love oh so much.

"An honest one." Great she is getting great amusement out of my lack of comprehension. But luckily for me she continues. "I'm glad you want it all, because I want it all too. You said it hit you when you were talking to Jane that's when you realized you loved me. I haven't told you when I realized it, when I knew I loved you. I realized I loved you when I saw you with Carrie. You remember on the plane when I told you I could see it, you and kids. That's when I realized I loved you. I wanted to say you, me and kids, that I could see that." She says this with such confidence that I have no choice but to believe every word.

"There's still a lot we need to talk about, a lot we need to work out. What about work. There are rules against Agents dating. What about the team? What about our family? What about," but before I can finish I am cut off by the softest, sweetest pair of lips I can imagine. Jennifer pulls me closer deepening the kiss. I can't believe I am finally kissing Jay Jay. Our lips are finally touching and I find myself thinking about it, I should be enjoying it not thinking about it. After finally giving in I am hell bent on memorizing each contour of her lips. With air becoming a slight issue we finally separate but only far enough for our lips to part allowing us some air. With our foreheads touching and her hand still on my neck keeping me close her response to my earlier rambling is simple, "I love you and you love me, that's all I need to know. Everything else will work it's self out. We will take it one step at a time, will deal with each issue as we come across them. Em, you know as well as I do that life is too short to worry about what everyone else thinks. I only care about us."

"Us. I like the sound of that. I could really get use to that. Us." It's true the thought of Jennifer and myself, I really could get use to that. "We take it slow. One step at a time. I can do that. We can do that." With that I lean in for another kiss. This one a little more passionate, a little more lust filled. Brushing my tongue across her lips, I seek entrance which to my excited pleasure, entrance is granted. Our tongues touch for the first time and I know I am addicted to all that is Jennifer. Like earlier I am dead set on remember everything about the kiss, everything about the taste that is Jennifer Jareau. I can most definitely get use to this. Again air is an issue and we reluctantly pull apart. "I can definitely get use to that." God it's like my mouth and brain lack the ability to communicate to one another. I mean really that's what I come up with.

"Me too." That's the response I get and it couldn't be more perfect. As I think this I hear the pilot announce that we will be landing shortly. And I find myself once again thinking of what will happen once we land. However before I can get lost in thought I feel my hand being squeezed and that is all I need to remind me of what it means.

Once we land, I grab both our go bags. As we leave the air strip I feel an arm snake around mine. With her arm around mine I stop dead in my tracks causing her to lose her grip on my arm. With my arm free I switch the go bag in my right hand to my left with the other. With my now empty hand I reach for hers and continue on our way only to be stopped dead in my tracks again. However this time it's because Jennifer is just standing there looking at our hands with this goofy grin on her face. It's nice that the roles are reversed. Giving it a gentle squeeze and a slight tug we head off towards the car.

Reaching the car I place the go bags in the trunk and then open the passenger side door for Jennifer. Climbing into the driver's side I start the car. As we begin the drive I am missing the contact that we have been sharing so reaching across the middle console and grab hold of the hand I never want to let go.

"Where are we headed?" It is a good question and is said without a care in the world.

My answer to her question was simple, and honest. "Home."

There's a moment in everyone's life where time stands still, where it seems that life as we know it, is no more. It still amazes me how a moment, how a single moment can have such an impact on one's life, how it can change one's life. The moment we met my life changed, the moment the gun went off my life changed, the moment her heart stopped my life changed, 3:13am that moment my life changed, the moment she said I love you changed my life, this moment, the moment I am in right now is changing my life. Every moment of everyday will always continue to change my life and I am very thankful for it.


End file.
